My First Entry

Hello bloggers!!

Recently I have been reading a friend's blog and finally I thought to myself what a great thing to do. Writing can be so therapeutic... I have done the online journals before, but have yet to keep up with them, but I figured I would give this a whirl anyways.

So how about a little background?
A little over a year ago I graduated from college (yay!) and then my 'life' started. Well umm hi, did I mention that I forgot to plan for life after college? That must sound really silly I know, but here is the thing: my whole life all I ever heard was College. Go to college. Graduate college. Do well in high school to go to college. Well that is what I did... I went to college. I gradated. Now what? Anyone else ever experience this? So yeah college was great... time of my life blah blah blah. I made amazing friends, I studied abroad (best 5 months of my life), I learned more about myself in 4 years than I did in 18, I was involved, I loved class, and then I graduated. Let the panic begin. Well like those who graduate with absolutely no idea what else they would like their life to hold, I took the 3rd job offered to me. I then proceeded to move to Chicago on a whim and work at possibly the most miserable sales job in existence. After about 9 months, I realized life is too short to be so miserable and I quit now I work for the family company until I get my act together.

Thus begins the quarterlife crisis and where I am currently at in my life. I also had a lot of time to myself to think and to do some soul searching... I realized a lot. I am not who my friends think I am. I honestly have no idea what I want in life. I constantly make rash decisions and then talk myself out of them only to talk myself back into them months later. I am emotionally shut off. I am quick to judge other people and find out what is wrong in their life, but am blind to my own faults. I expect greatness from myself but I allow others to make me doubt that greatness. I am terrified of failure. I am obsessive compulsive but only when I chose to be.

SO as you can see, I have some things I need to hash out and I hope that by writing them down and talking them through with myself I will slowly be able to figure out who I am and more of what I want. Everyone is so quick to give advice when I express the lost feeling that I have... but perhaps I need to find the answer for myself and just need someone to talk to in the meantime.